21 Questions to Ask Those You Lead

21 Questions to Ask Those You Lead

I have had the privilege of being a wife and mom for over 2o years now. One of the (many) things I’ve learned during that time is how important it is for me to ask great questions when I communicate with my family. Stress and strain can result in my relationships if I don’t communicate well. Can you relate?

Healthy relationships thrive on being able to reciprocate good, healthy communication strategies. My mom refers to this as ‘tossing the ball back’ when having a conversation. I speak, you listen.  You speak, I listen.

Sure, there are lots of ingredients that go into having a conversation with someone (talking, listening, eye contact, body language, tone, etc.) but I think some of it boils down to asking great questions. Great questions can often determine the course of the conversation. Some conversations can come to a screeching halt before they even start if we’re not careful!  I certainly haven’t mastered this but I have made significant strides in this department. For example, I now ask open ended questions that don’t garner a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response.  Sometimes I push the “How did you feel about that?” question and sometimes I don’t.  More often than not, I find that pausing to pray before speaking and asking God for wisdom has saved me quite a few times!  I’ve learned, too, that it’s not always what I’m saying but how I’m saying it.

This same principle applies to ministry relationships.  Effective communication is vital in leading others and to the health, growth and success of our ministry.  In addition, good communication develops trust between a leader and those they care for.

If you want to engage someone in conversation, you have to be intentional about setting both of parties up for success.  Here are just a few questions to help get those important conversation started:

Questions for Your Staff

  1. What do we do well?
  2. What can be improved?
  3. Who can we invite to be part of our ministry team?
  4. How does this program or event fit into our ministry vision and goals?
  5. Who should we invite to be part of this discussion?  Who needs to be around the table?
  6. How can I pray for you?
  7. How can we grow together as a team?

Questions for Your Volunteers

  1. What worked well?
  2. What can be improved?
  3. How can we better equip you to lead well?
  4. Is there anyone you know who would be a great addition to our team?
  5. We are thinking of [insert idea].  What are your initial thoughts about that?
  6. Do you feel challenged in your role right now?
  7. How can I pray for you?

Questions for Parents/Families

  1. How would you describe our ministry?
  2. How can our ministry better serve our church’s families?
  3. What can we do to better equip you to disciple your family?
  4. What conversations are your family having?  Where are these conversations taking place?
  5. How can we pray for you?
  6. What is your child struggling with?
  7. How can we better strengthen the relationship between your home and the church?

Of course, there are risks involved when questions are asked.  We see vulnerabilites in people and become vulnerable ourselves.  We also have to be open to receive feedback (both positive and negative) that might trigger a certain response.  But think about this…how much are you and I missing out on because important, strategic questions aren’t being asked?

Keep the conversation going! What questions do you find effective to leading well?  Share them below or join the discussion on our Facebook page!

Summer Lovin’: A Recap

The following post is the final part of a series of summer-related posts.  

Today, I’ll share my reflections on the summer and what God has been teaching me.

Earlier this summer I shared how this was a new season of ministry for me.  (You can read that post here.)  This new season has meant a wide range of emotions for me.  It’s been exciting and overwhelming at the same time.  We have been busy in summer mode while also preparing for our fall kick-off in a few weeks, so we’ve been making many changes externally (physical spruce ups) and internally (policies, procedures, structure).

When families return for our fall kick-off, they’ll see walls freshly painted in bright, fun colors.  They’ll see new signage directing them around our children’s area.  We’re using new curriculum and aligning with a new vision, mission and overall ministry strategy.  I am excited about all that God will do in the ministry this coming year and will post here what we’re doing, what’s working and what we’re working on.

But what makes me more excited is what God is doing in the life of the ministry leader – ME!  All summer long, people have approached me, asking questions like, “How’s everything going?”  “How are you holding up?”  “Are you ready for vacation?”  Things are busy, I’m still standing and I’m always ready for a vacation, especially near the water! 🙂  But really…with all of the changes that have taken place in our ministry, the most remarkable changes have been within me.

I’ve been in Children’s Ministry (professionally) for 11 years now and boy have I learned a lot during that time frame.  A few weekends ago, I was sorting through some of my ministry resources and I was horrified by some of the things that I thought was my best work!  Thankfully I am older, wiser and insistent on building a stronger foundation this time around by putting a few practices into place:

Without prayer and time in God’s Word, I am operating out of my own strength.  Any ministry that is a product of my ideas, my energy and my plans is downright frightening.  Many times I’ve gone to bed after praying for solutions/insight into things and literally would be awakened during the middle of the night with a God-given idea. (I talked about one particular incident here.)

Start with the basics.  Clarify vision, mission, core values, ministry strategy, job descriptions – all of the things upon which a successful ministry is built on.  With God’s guidance, building the basics now will benefit us greatly down the road.

Build strong teams and delegate.  Loosen my own grip because it doesn’t belong to me.  My primary role as a leader is to equip others to do the work.  This will free me up to do the things that only I can do.  This is very hard for me to do sometimes but I must for the sake of the ministry and my own sanity.

Get out of the office and invest in relationships with those I lead.  One of the favorite part of my job has always been getting to know people I serve with.  I believe that these relationships strengthen our ministry in a very unique way.

Set boundaries.  Protect family time.  Call it quits at a decent hour.  Talk about things other than ministry.  Make time for fun.  This will make me a happier, healthier leader.

Sometimes the changes you see on the outside are no where as big as the changes on the inside!  I pray that the work that God is doing in me will have biggest positive impact on those I serve.

Are you living your life in a way that allows God to transform you from the inside out?

Grace Under Pressure

If you are a fan of morning television, you might have heard rumblings in the past week or so regarding Ann Curry’s departure from the Today Show.  Today, the rumors were confirmed…she is in fact leaving her coveted host chair on the popular morning program.  She announced her departure this morning.  Ever since the internet buzz began about her rumored departure, I specifically tuned in to see if she would ever mention it.  She never did, but her facial expressions and body language did all of the talking.  She looked sad, her shoulders were hunched over, her laughs not as hearty.

She referred to the job as her “dream job”.  Who ever wants to leave their dream job like this, for all the world to see?  In my humble opinion, Ms. Curry did a great job under the circmstances.  There are two things she said that stood out to me:

“I have wanted to give you [the viewers] the world.”  Leaders have big dreams for the future.  The sky is the limit.  Although many women preceded Ms. Curry, she wanted to bring her own personality to the role.

“For all of you who saw me as a groundbreaker, I’m sorry I couldn’t carry the ball over the finish line.  But man, I did try.”  Abrupt changes can leave a leader feeling like they’ve let their followers down.  They can also feel like their work was unfinished.  But trying is a really big part in wanting to make a difference.

I am looking forward to how Ms. Curry will move forward in the future.  I am hopeful that the grace she exuded today will keep her dreaming bigger and better.